The Burden of "Maybe"

Dianne Matthews here, with my maiden First Monday of the Month blog post!

It's amazing how quickly feelings can change, isn't it? I'd tried to sell that proposal for a couple of years. A few houses had voted on it, but no luck. Finally, a publisher had not only accepted, but they'd offered a two-book contract! For weeks, all I could pray was "Oh God, what a blessing! This had to be your doing--to think they would take a chance on an unknown author like me."

Then reality (or my perception of it) set in.

I figured out that I'll need to work 50-60 hours/week on the book until mid-November. How will I fit in all the other stuff writers are expected to do? Maybe I can't meet the deadline. Besides that, maybe I was right about this idea not being suitable for a 1-yr. devotional. And after publishing almost a thousand devotionals, maybe I don't have anything left to say. And maybe my spiritual life isn't up to par right now and I don't deserve this responsibility. And maybe...

Then I remembered writing my first book in 2004. I had 6 months to find something interesting connected with each day of the year (historical event, pop culture, holidays), research it, pair it with a biblical example/practical application/verse. One day, I slumped over my computer, fighting the panic. What was I thinking--me write a book? Then I confided in a neighbor, "Dianne," she stated firmly, "I can't believe that God gave you this tremendous blessing just to let you fail."

Why should I need a reminder that getting a contract or assignment is a tremendous blessing, or that even to have been published at all is a privilege? Or that God has called me to this and therefore will help me finish? It's because I felt the burden of negative "maybe" thoughts. Maybe I should remember one of my favorite verses: "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Comments

[Jeanette]

Great post Dianne! I love what you had to say. You are perfect for this blog!

[Dianne Neal Matthews]

Thank you, Jeanette, for letting me be part of this team.

[Karen Robbins]

Words of wisdom. I would expect that from you. You are gifted.

[Jenny]

I needed that post. I keep making secondary plans even though I know what I should be doing. I've been living with "maybe" and it has been driving me crazy! I'm going to start today with "I know..." and move forward with the confidence I used to have. Thank you!